September 15, 2015

Has-Been Hank

Some 20 years later, that was the moment Hank realized he’d never been better at anything in his whole life than Sega Hockey '94.

August 9, 2015

Relaxing Roger

July 26, 2015

Breast-Man Bob

July 22, 2015

Tough Luck Toby

Toby liked to start his day with a game of solitaire. It got the mind moving while his bowels did the same. And what else was there to do once he'd finished scanning five self-allotted minutes of Facebook?

Unfortunately, Toby also allotted himself exactly one solitaire victory. How else could he move on with the day if the game didn't finish to its proper completion?

Unfortunately, this day, Toby never won that game.

So he never left the toilet. 

May 7, 2015

Grateful George

Like he did most Mondays, George spent the better part of an hour washing nearly every knife in the house. Granted, most of these knives were used by his wife to cook his lucky-ass dinner, but still, it was a lot of knives. It never used to be this many knives when George and Melinda were just living together. But now they had wedding-knives. And wedding-steak-knives. And that meant washing by hand. Every Monday. Hundreds of them.

April 30, 2015

Daring Don

Don had promised his wife he wouldn't eat the whole pint, but the Chocolate Fudge Brownie had almost reached that perfect consistency – no longer frozen, not quite soupy, little chunks of brownie beginning to soften. And if Don didn't know whether his cholesterol would allow him to see the bottom of another pint anyway, why shouldn't he take a stab at perfection? 

April 27, 2015

Evil Laugh Matt


Self-Help Harry

Harry understood that he was the only one getting in the way of his own happiness, but he was a big scary guy with a black belt and a temper.

April 17, 2015

Luddite Lou

Lou was getting awfully tired of advertisers making him want more stuff he didn't need and wouldn't be able to figure out how to use.

April 14, 2015

April 9, 2015

PC Paul

Paul hoped his Wii wasn't being racist, but it definitely rewarded him for having a black avatar. 

April 3, 2015

Changing It Up Chet

Chet just had a random memory from back when Darcy was crushing his soul, when he was visiting for her graduation, all those years ago. When she was off getting it on with Toby Fucking James. 

All the while Chet searched on and off campus for her, stumbling around like a sad sap. 

As he looked, he ended up at a buddy's house. They needed a drummer. So Chet sat in. But he couldn't find the groove. 

These many years later, that’s why Chet remains just slightly bitter. Cause he couldn’t keep up with a jam. Cause he was wrecked by a woman. 

And now he was mad at himself again for letting the time slip a half step. 

March 30, 2015

Out Ten Bucks


Jason spotted him from the bottom of the hill. Well, the bottom of the hill from where he had started.

Is that the same fucking guy? Yup. Same fucking guy. Same fucking corner. Same pleading look on his face.

And no recognition of Jason.

"Hey man, you got a dollar or two for bus fare? My car broke down and I gotta get my moms to the hospital."

"You said that to me last time, Man," Jason said.

"Sorry Man, I ain't got no job."

"Neither do I, Man."

Well, not full-time. And not like he couldn't get one if he really needed it. Unlike this poor guy.

Still, Jason wasn’t going to give him another ten bucks, regardless of what kind of asshole he felt like. He stormed off towards home, the dog barking in time with Jason's rising blood pressure, neuroses, and fear.

He let him bark; he did just tell off a homeless guy losing another battle to the streets.

Jason walked his ridiculously well-fed dog back to a warm house to eat a lovingly cooked dinner.  

And he knew: he was the asshole, again. 

Guilty.

But at least he wasn’t out another ten bucks. 

March 23, 2015

Seattle Walking Can Be at Times Rainy


Since moving to Seattle, most of my transportation away from home occurs whilst walking. Two dog walks a day, usually in opposite directions, usually at least one trip to the coffee shop. Maybe the local pub if I'm "working" on my screenplay.

Everyday I see something interesting. So I'm going to try and get in the habit of posting at least one thing that caught my eye along the way.

While I may very well give up this practice tomorrow, today I saw a somewhat plump girl running in the frigid rain in just a very wet t-shirt that wasn't doing a very good job of keeping her warm and dry. Although it did a heckuva job showing off her fine form.

Her running form, People, sheesh. Perverts.

Okay, yes, her boobs were flopping in a wonderful way, but I was more focused on her face, well, perhaps equally focused during the two seconds it took her to pass by the coffee shop's panoramic view.

Boy did she look like she missed her jacket as she plodded along during the rainiest part of the day. Perhaps she was thrown off by the early rain and long stretch of afternoon sun? I too have been fooled by Seattle's mercurial nature, so I could easily recognize a girl who thought the worst was behind us.

Still, she had to run on. And run harder, for what else could she do? Walk into a coffee shop with her boobs all gloriously about?  No, into the storm she ran. In spite of it!

Anyways, the determination on her face was inspirational. And though I would've been more impressed if she were running uphill, she still takes the cake for the most interesting thing I saw along the way today. So now it's documented.

March 17, 2015

Educated Ed


Ed sent Penny two stories, neither of which he actually read, yet both he knew to be true at headline level.

Headline 1:

Are Men Idiots Who Do Stupid Things? Study Says Yes

Headline 2: 

99% of All Farts Don't Smell 

In Ed's ever-failing quest to reveal his true self to Penny, he hoped she would also accept these statements as truth. 

Then he polished off a delicious salt shake. 

March 10, 2015

that said


Not that i have anything really bothering me, other than it all. But being in a new town, getting to know Seattle for all its very good and all its kinda surprisingly bad, well, i should be writing about it. 

Though this has lately been a cartoon blog, i still feel like it's the right medium for my Seattle musings. 

Comics and musings are obviously related; the only way to look at life is comically. Especially in Seattle.

This place is a bit bonkers. And real. Like not joking around. Not like Playa del Rey seemed to be.

No. Far too serious here. The part of it I've gotten to know, anyhow. Which I just don't get. Like the kids in high school who always felt wronged and needed to pursue justice and dress weird because it was their right to.  

I'm all for justice, but can't humor still be righteous?

I'm new here. And springtime does seem to be loosening everything up. Spectacularly so, even. 

Still, there was an armed robbery in broad daylight on my corner today, from what I read online. And I still feel like going for a walk on that corner at dusk, because the glory of dusk is powerful enough to dissipate the stench of crime and need and gentrification and discord. 

Or so it is for me. Or so it is today.