AdPock

“Goddamit! It’s my couch. I had it made. I saw it in a catalog, went to the goddamn furniture maker and had it made. I’m sorry if you thought it was yours, but it’s not! You obviously didn’t hear me correctly. It’s mine and I want it back! Okay?” “No.” “Yes, Goddamit!” “No. You gave it to us. You said if I helped you move the other couch -- the couch that you really wanted, the one-tonner which gave me a hernia -- that you’d give us this couch. Give. Not loan.” “Gimme my couch!” “You sound like a petulant child.” “It’s mine! And you… you… you’re getting married! And have a great girl who loves you and I don’t even have a date, or a prospect of a date other than a 24-year-old intern who I mistakenly… Goddamit! You have my couch!” Abe was surprised when Mary showed up at his place for the couch the next day. He thought it was just one of her outbreaks, which would pass like a spring storm. He was even more surprised she'd actually talked the intern into moving it ...

After a good twenty minutes, Pete finally realized he was caught in the midst of a vicious rinse/repeat cycle. That's when Pete knew he had to stop smoking weed before showering.

I just read a headline that said, “Study Shows People Who Drink 6 Daily Cups of Coffee Live Just as Long as People Who Don't”. As I suspected, drinking coffee is no more beneficial, or detrimental, as not drinking coffee. I didn’t read beyond the headline, of course, because my phone isn’t really set up for full articles. But neither am I really; I’m definitely more of a big picture guy than a specific fine print type. So as far as I’m concerned, this golden nugget of information about caffeine needs no further substantiation. I’ve weaned what I need from the headline alone: I need not worry about how much caffeine I drink. Case closed. One less thing. I will go on drinking coffee with the same sort of needy dependence as ever.