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Now that Art's Pop 2000 cattle prod had arrived, he was finally ready to shock the world.

Yesterday, by all accounts, had all the makings of a beautiful day. My wife finally had a Sunday off. The weather was supposed to be perfect. And the most happening street fair, The Abbot Kinney Festival, was taking place one town over. Alas, it was a Sunday. And not only were the Denver Broncos playing, but the Colorado Rockies were facing a must win. I had been greatly disappointed by both teams in the past. And I have struggled with my fanatical allegiance to Denver sports as the most silly and uncontrollable of my addictions. But, I had become fed up living for the hopes and dreams of other, stronger men. So on Thursday, after the Broncos lost another running back to a pulled hamstring, I agreed to skip watching the game to go to the fair with said wife.  However, when it came time to getting off the couch and foraging into the sunlight, I could not shake the fact that my teams needed me. How could I expect them to fight, if I was not there in the trenches with them? Fortu...