AdPock

Gene and Gertrude reflected, on this wacky thing called life; Acted as if rejected, though truth ejected strife; When the most that they could want for, was one or two peanuts more.

AdPock was fairly certain that both he and his wife could live without wine. But he was 100% positive they couldn't live together without it.

Ed sent Penny two stories, neither of which he actually read, yet both he knew to be true at headline level. Headline 1: Are Men Idiots Who Do Stupid Things? Study Says Yes Headline 2:  99% of All Farts Don't Smell  In Ed's ever-failing quest to reveal his true self to Penny, he hoped she would also accept these statements as truth.  Then he polished off a delicious salt shake. 

AdPock had been ignoring Missy since they first started dating. But now that they were married, she deeply resented it.

My wife and I play tennis. It’s our thing. If you don’t have a thing with your wife, I highly recommend you get one, otherwise you may find yourself without a wife. And I don’t know about you, but that would seriously disrupt how well I eat. Anywho, I really enjoy this tennis thing for a number of reasons, foremost being because I get to compete with my wife. But while competition is a healthy part of any marriage, I don’t believe it can be the main part. Most of marriage should be about teamwork. If you can’t get your competition out on the tennis court, odds are it will come out in a battle for space. Or more appropriately, for boundaries – the walls which protect our space.   I used to let my wife win a game or two, to help with her self-confidence. Then, one day when I was particularly hungover, she took advantage and won four games! She pushed it to a series of deuces at 4-4 before I finally resorted to hitting nothing but drop shots, which her bad ankles don’t let her properl...

Jerry used to be a really great listener. Then he got married.