AdPock

Once upon a time there was a boy who sang as if God we're his ventriloquist. But along the open road, the boy lost his heavenly voice, he couldn't even be sure where.  One day, the boy found a dog who barked like a hurricane, like the Scorpions kind of hurricane. The rocking kind. So the boy took the dog in. Unfortunately, the boy was homeless.  The boy and the dog hit the street, the only home that would have them. But it bonded them tighter than any roof could, and they made themselves a home without walls.  Though both had been self-described lone wolves before, now, neither could see the logic in that.  They were a pack now, forever. Though the boy's divine voice still escaped him, he felt the air in his lungs getting stronger with each pack-spent day. Until one day, out of the heavenly blue, it was as if God, the puppet master of fate, reached out once again and put his hand up the boy's butt. And the spirit so powerfully moved the ...

Monogamy worked for Sue and Lee, They didn't promise it would always be, But with weather being so darn cold lately, It just made sense to snuggle, freely or not. 

Once upon a time,  There was a gorilla named Kong, As big,  And strong, And long, As the lingering note of a well struck gong. Still, Kong was forced to leave his home, By the rarest royal of all, man. Bound, literally, for a new land, Pushed until they forced his hand, To make him something far more grand... A king.

Jean-Luc Giraffe made a helluva gaffe,  Way back when,  When he wrecked his whole life. Why couldn't he have just been happy for Geoffrey? Why couldn't he have just shaken his brother's hoof, Said, "Nice job!  Way to make kids happy!" He was the alpha.  The pride of the family. But it didn't matter. Did it really matter now? A giraffe has to save his own neck. But whoa to be part of  the tower, Basking in the cool shade of Acacia, The irreplaceable warmth of family.

What a heavy weight this world might seem if seen from down below where loud obnoxious air depletes the sublime brevity of breath. Are you loved? Are you hungry? Are you home? A weight impossible to haul. Let it go unbound it so. Unfettered by such chains let thine load be laughed upon from on high. A knowing wink may meet your eye, take solace take flight!

Hope is born of what may never exist, Deluding till the end. Why bother with the way things are, When you can make believe belief? Not a crack above of rolling thunder, No need for the shelter of truth, Clouds may part before or after, May as well enjoy the view.

Oliver Owl was super tired last night. But his hair looked incredible, and he was nocturnal, so he went out.

It’s only been a couple of weeks now Since you said goodbye But you just don’t seem gone yet Even though i keep crying Everywhere i see your face Everyplace feel your embrace I wonder how i could have kept you Though I know that’s a lie Maybe with your heavenly new view You can finally fly. But I’ll never forget your face The mark you make upon this place What you created in this house The foundation and walls Stand firmer now than ever Even after you're gone The dust of you leaves but a trace Yet we’re all filled by by your grace After all All is all.

My buddy Buddy's been getting a lot of attention lately, Ever since our boy became his late brother, He's become much sweeter. Or maybe I just didn't give him the attention he so needed. As I lavished it on my boy, Who needed it more.  Needed me. But he's gone, And I really need my Buddy. Miraculously, He's right here, Staring me in the eye, Taking me in.

Bass lines never lie. Heavenly bodies know, Heavenly tones don’t go undetected Though they often go unheard. Forget bowing your ear to listen, though, You’ll simply never hear. Just close your eyes to see It’s all happening right here. Right there, so close… Just don’t reach Or you’ll never touch. Such elusive frequencies, Why must we know so much? Can’t we feel our way through? Isn’t it easier to bounce? We’re just floating anyways. Such blessed tones All's light in all, Effervescent to the touch Yet heavy enough to somehow hold us up.

When Captain Jack the Ajax first came to these shores, he did so with the intention of being a full-on superhero in the Silver Surfer ilk. But he soon learned that Silver Surfer spent more time actually doing shit than surfing, which Jack found dubiously unappealing. So now his superpower is just being one of the best damn surfers on the high seas. And for Captain Jack the Ajax, that is totally enough.

Billy bolts awake with a frown. Nothing like a worry alarm clock. He doesn’t mean to feel uneasy. But feelings have a way. Physically speaking, waking is just hard. Particularly for one who dreams so deeply. Fido, on the other hand, chomps the marrow at the bit, runs circles around the dining room table, leash in mouth. Against such waking instincts, Billy rises. He puts on his pants. First one leg, then the next. Like many a great man, though not many a great Scott! He slips on his shoes. Grabs the leash and poop bags. After some effort to slow down Fido’s circuitous sprint, Billy finally affixes his leash. Which means it’s go time. Fido calmly takes his place next to his master, dutiful as a soldier. They give each other that “go time” look, and hit the street in search of coffee. Not two doors down, they spy The Scowler. You’d think two people and two dogs who see each other every day could at least do something to acknowledge as much. But that stopped long ago; sh...

Sure, Dean caught fire when he downed that flaming shot, but at least he wasn't a pansy.

Fourteen minutes into his epic percussion solo, Al realized he had to finish putting away the dishes and stop smoking weed.

When Charlie Barker was but a wee pup, his master used to tell him no.  But Charlie Barker's such a creative spirit, the universe forces him to blow.

Backed again, To where I am, Still fighting the good fight. What choice is there? As i am always right. A righteous man is all i am. And All i’ll ever be. But a righteous man In an unjust world, Is ever far from free.

David felt good about performing his civic duty, even if he was only voting for the most Jewish-sounding candidates.

Right there and then -- perhaps because it was his birthday and he was now old enough to be President -- Tom decided he would no longer care what anyone else thought of him. From now on, he would just use the goddamned kiddie urinal instead of standing on his tiptoes, trying to look like an actual man.